Day 1. dec.12, 2024

dear L. what would u have me know

miles Davis     Generique.  moody lyricism like something coming from way off.  these r a few of my fav things. trumpet trills. Christmas notes violins I simply remember . . . and then I dont feel so   bad are those the words.  mourning/mourning dove two chicks soon to fledge from the Simpson stopper.

eager to fly yes how m anyways can one.  even when sitting in bed. endless possibilities there we go here we go we hear! like the. tremolo playing now life rolls on and on bass count dissolving away also w/o end. Sharon Isbin.  just apologize to everyone and then stop the tedious pretend that we will ever understand when really we dont have to to be kind but it does get in the way this wanting others to do as we think we want or need.  no place like home.orphansall. where lies the harbor? our souls like orphans whose unwed mothers died at birth. the 

harbor from which we unmoor no more  

gymnopedie  bare feet tender foot swollen lips albeniz suite espanol...andre Segovia. natural harmonics.  how many in every successive moment how fast the moments?  sixteenths or faster  no no no, to be rung from the pause the still silent gap between all notes. live in the gaps too as we must.  is this what L wants me to know? drink the silence and stillness of contemplation replete with life.  L, does love have to hurt forever? can I love myself.  how does it go? feed and water and take the air.  avoid disagreements with family. none of us will be here much longer. what will happen now Matt has grown old is unemployed and without any means? a chasm yawns and I feel terrified for him and for all of us should we not stop his fall, spare him somehow. a calamity in full view, decades in the making, that neither of his parents bothered to correct. poor man! poor child, poor boy, to be so lost and unguided. it is breath-taking